
The Decemberists are not strangers to grandeur. In 2004, they released an 18 minute, 5-part EP called The Tain, even then getting recognition for its classic prog rock vibe. The Melville-amped song "The Mariner's Revenge" appearing on 2005's Picaresque was a fan-gathering success about revenge on the high seas. And 2006's release The Crane Wife contained no more than two separate 3-part songs: a bookending story about a lonely man's brief affair with a she-bird (unsurprisingly titled "The Crane Wife") and the murderous yarn "The Island". Since they have already done it before, it makes perfect sense that The Decemberists would once again weave an epic tale of love, murder, and revenge, dripping with folky sensibility, infused with classic rock panache for good measure. So we have The Hazards of Love, which compared to everything else before is more bloated saga than clever fable.
While "The Crane Wife" was wisely displaced by unrelated songs, The Hazards of Love is just one damn long song. Nothing breaks up the slow, linear progression of the story; each song just casually bleeds into the next. Momentum built up from one song is unceremoniously dashed by the next. Passages from earlier in the album are repeated, and then repeated, and then repeated ad naseum until you realize they have four tracks of the very same song, arranged slightly differently each time. Moreover, no single song really makes sense when plucked out on its own, either. The only track that actually feels like a "song", and is arguably the best moment, is the very last one dubbed "The Hazards of Love 4." (The irony is bludgeoning me). Finally, the band and lead man Colin Meloy forgo all the indulgent theatrics and just lay down a decent song.
Reportedly, Meloy's original vision was to write and perform a full-on Broadway musical containing the whole shebang: costumes, sets, props, and overacting. Instead we get the soundtrack for a musical that doesn't exist. When you think about The Hazards of Love this way, it becomes slightly less confusing (and confounding). On the other hand, maybe we should be thankful that only the soundtrack survived the brainstorming process, and now that they've got it out of their system, these guys can get back to doing what they do much better than this--writing good songs.
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